12.15.14

two months being happy with you but it feels like we've been together since forever.

You're all I need.

You're my everything.

You're my world.

You are my Maleen Klerica Apostol.

Madami na akong blog about you babe, and naka-ready na talaga ito hanggang sa monthsary natin. Happiest 2nd monthsary baby. I am so sorry if sobrang layo ko sayo, I'm sorry I am 13 hrs late sa time mo dyan. And I can't spend our monthsary ng sabay. Ang dami kong dapat ipagthank you kase akin ka na. Kase I'm yours.. 

MK, ikaw ang pinaka-magandang bagay na nangyari sa akin. Ikaw yung liwanag ko na hinahanap ko noon pa man. Ikaw yung guide ko sa napaka-shit ko na buhay ko noon. I always look at the darkest and negative side before. Pakiramdam ko kase I am not good enough. Pero nung dumating ka, I am always positive, binibigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob. Binibigyan mo ako ng reason para mahalin ang sarili ko, kase andyan ka. 

Babe, two months palang tayo pero sobrang sobra na na pagmahahal yung binibigay ko sayo, alam mo yun.. You're so worth it. Ang saya saya ko sayo, kahit na nasasaktan mo ako. Mas pipiliin ko na yun kase I know di mo naman sinasadya yun eh, kesa na sa iwan mo ako at sabihin mo na ayaw mo na sa akin. Kahit na iparamdam mo sa akin lagi yung pakiramdam na ayaw ko, di kita iiwan. Mas pipiliin ko pa din magstay sayo. Ewan ko, malakas lang talaga ang urge ko na magend sayo kase yun ang gusto ko.

Happy monthsary babe, gusto ko lang malaman mo na mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ako mawawala sayo. Hindi kita iiwan. We both might hurt each other, pero alam ko naman na di naten sinasadya or di naten intentionally pinasasakitan ang isat isa. I love you babe, mula sa pagiging sweet at romantic mo. Hanggang sa pagiging mapride mo, or kahit na anong sama ng ugali mo. Mahal na mahal kita. Tanggap kita, handa akong magtiis para sayo, handa akong masaktan para sayo, handa akong gawin lahat para sayo, handa akong ibigay ang mga organs ko kapag kinailangan mo, handa akong lumuhod sa harap ng madaming tao kapag nagaaway tayo para sayo, para mapatawad mo ako. Handa akong saluhin lahat ng problema mo, handa akong saluhin lahat ng galit mo. Kung anong ikakagaan ng loob mo babe, gagawin ko yun para sayo. Mahal na mahal kita MK. Sa akin ka lang please. Ayoko na sa iba. AYOKO NG MAY KASAMA TAYONG IBA KUNDI ANG ISA'T ISA.

HAPPY MONTHSARY BABE.

I have the perfect life now that you are a part of it. And I'm so glad that you are mine. You give me butterflies, every fucking time. Loving you is as natural as breathing. Between a million yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there’s only one today. And I would never let it pass without telling you that I'm so grateful enough to be your future wife. Let's make it happen babe. Don't let go of me. Don't push me away. Don't unlove me. I love you so much MK. 

If I could go turn back the time, I would turn it back where you did not meet those people who hurts you, instead i'll be your first and last girlfriend, but I can't. Its okay though, i'll just make sure that, I will be with you forever and ever. I can't promise that I will never hurt you, because most of the time I am not aware that I am hurting you already.. Even then, i hope you will always take me back and forgive me. I love you so much MK.

Love,

Joanna Rose Apostol

EDIT:

I'm so sorry about what you feel. I'm not bitter. Basically my tweet is not even about them. Naalala ko lang yung tweet ko noon about sa HOE HOE, plus yung about sa hany, I just changed it because I saw a bag kanina na you're h&m I'm a chanel bag. I'm sorry if naisip mo na bitter ako. Ayokong makipagaway. I'm sad because, you have all the power to shut me down. And I really really feel useless, because I can't do anything about it. I'm a million miles away, kahit na gusto kitang puntahan, I can't. And it sucks. I am mad at myself. I have lots on my mind right now. I am having panic attack, maybe kapag nabasa mo na to tulog na ako. I hope you could give me a hug. Because I need you in times like this. And I'm scared at myself.

there are some rules in this post that you need to follow:

• put earphones.
• click this link: I LOVE YOU MK
• listen
• read this blog
• if you are still reading this and the song finish.. PLAY IT AGAIN.

NO. CHEATING. WHETHER YOU LIKE THE SONG OR NOT. LISTEN TO IT.

I am shaking, my world is shaking. 

because you Maleen, every words you say, every smile you making, everyday my love for you is growing. And I can't help it, I am so in love with you.

MK, mahal na mahal kita. Mula ulo hanggang paa. Mula sa panlabas na hanggang sa kaluluwa mo. Ultimo pinakamaliit na particles mo sa katawan mo mahal ko. I can't imagine life without MK. Parang magiging blanko ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano gagawin ko sa buhay ko ng wala ka. I really really need you in my life. Madaming rason para mag-stay ako sayo. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kase pakiramdam ko kulang ang blog ko para masabi sayo. 

Babe, you are the strongest person I have ever met. but you know what.. YOU. YOU ARE MY WEAKNESS. I can't stand the fact that I'm dating you. Not in a bad way love, I can't stand it because I'm so weak, I can't even look straight into your eyes. I can't stand you everytime you smile at me, it makes me melt. I can't stand the fact that you're all mine, it makes me fall in love with you, EVEN HARDER. 

I was sad before. But you, existing makes me so happy.

I was so weak before. But you, being mine makes me even more weak, because you are my weakness.

I was lonely before. Now I can't even give my jaw a rest. Because I can't stop smiling bc of you.

I have the lowest self-esteem before. But now, I feel so beautiful. I feel that I am. 

Babe, thank you so much. Wag kang mawawala sa akin. Hindi ko kakayanin. 

Alam mo yun kapag tinanong nila kung paano ko gustong mamatay, ang isasagot ko eh. yung matanda na ako, tapos mamamatay ako na hawak ang kamay ni MK, nakapatong sa dibdib ko. and one more thing, kapag nawala ka, enough na yung para patayin ako. Walang wala yung mga blades, cutter o knife. Kase 10x na mas masakit yung mawawala ka eh. Wala na akong gustong iba, ikaw lang MK. 

I DON'T MIND SPENDING MY FOREVER WITH YOU MALEEN.

Since meeting you babe, I ask for more time.. I want more time with you, for our future together and build our dreams together. And I want us to grow together. Do you mind?

If you're gonna ask me again how much I love you?

Well baby, even in a sea of people that I like.. I swear to God that I can still find you. Because you are the person that I love the most.

I love you so much Maleen Klerica Apostol.

Will you spend your forever with me? And be my wife?

I love you. I promise to love you, your body,

your soul, your mind, your opinions,

your decisions, your hobby, your dream,

pretty much my love, I love you, being you.

you being my very own Maleen Klerica Apostol.

I love you babe. Always & forever, okay? okay.

Hope this blog makes you happy, because I am crying all this time while typing, because God..

I. AM. SO. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU.

"I've been to heaven I've been to hell. I've been to Vegas & God knows where. 

But nothing feels like home like you babe, I love you more than you will ever know."

YOURS ALWAYS,

JOANNA ROSE APOSTOL

Edit:

This is a scheduled post at 6:30pm at my time so 7:30 at yours. I expected that you'll be home at 5:30pm/4:30am to 6pm/5am to me. Because that's what you told me. Nagtatampo ako kase, I don't know. Maybe I got too excited for you to come home. Because, yeah, I miss you. Ayun. But it's okay, at least you had a good time. And I am happy for you, meeting yellow card babe. Don't worry, i'll be okay. 

I'm always here..

I would buy a new blank almanac book, to put our plans for our future. But still, its not gonna be enough my love.

Hay nako Maleen Klerica Apostol. You don't know how much you makes me weak. Sa dami ng plano ko para sa future naten, enough na yun para kiligin ako kapag nagiisa ako. Ikaw ang pinaka-paborito kong human being. You invaded my life babe, my today, my tomorrow & my future. I will not regret anything na ginagawa naten ngayon. This is my kind of relationship goal.

Alam mo ba na ikaw ang unang karelasyon ko na nakapagpakilala na agad sa akin sa pamilya at kaibigan nya. Ang sarap pala sa pakiramdam MK. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sayo. Pero you are way beyond different. No you're not different my love. YOU ARE MK. :")

Babe, ngayong stress ka sa school, nandito lang ako. Ngayong magiging busy ka, nandito lang ako. Kapag badtrip ka, I'm here. Kapag masaya ka kase nirereplayan ka ng mga bands, I'm here to fan girl with you. Kapag nagaaway tayo, I'm still here. Kapag gagraduate ka na, I'm here. Kapag naka-graduate ka na, I'm here. Kapag nagtatrabaho ka na, I'm still here. Kapag natupad na lahat ng pangarap mo sa buhay, I'm still here. Kapag may sakit ka, I'm here. Kapag iniwan ka na ng mga tao sa paligid mo, I'm here for you. Kapag tumanda ka na, I. AM. STILL. HERE. Pretty much my love, since the day we met, I will be always by your side.

Kapag nasasaktan ka, kapag napapagod ka, kapag may problema ka, come run to me my love. You have my shoulder to cry on. You have my two ears to listen to all your rants, problems and such. You have my arms to hug you oh so tight. And you have my heart, no matter what.

I want to marry you MK.

I want to pursue my dreams with you.

And one of the greatest dreams that I got is you; the person who could give me love, a love that is so real. Not perfect, but worth it. 

I can't wait na dumating na yung araw na magkasama na tayo araw araw. Kahit hindi ako marunong magluto, kahit na takot ako sa mantika, kahit na puro prito lang ang alam kong lutuin, I don't mind to learn how to cook more menu for you baby. I will iron your uniform, pick the clothes you will wear, tie your shoe lace so you won't fall for someone else. Give you goodnight and goodmorning kisses.

God, MK. Things I wanna do with you on our future. You are so beautiful my love, inside and out. You have a good heart. And I can tell that I'm the only one who noticed it. And even you, you are not aware of that love. That's how much I love you MK. Mas kilala kita kesa sa sarili mo.

Dapat mamaya pa to paguwi mo asawa ko eh. Pero since ataters ka, here you go. I hope you will have a good day at school. Don't let those niggas ruin your day! I'm here to brighten up your day!!! :") 

I LOVE YOU MALEEN KLERICA RAMOS APOSTOL.

YOURS ALWAYS,

JOANNA ROSE APOSTOL. 

How much do I love you..

Words can't describe how much I love you.

Numbers can't sum how much I love you.

Can't even spit it out how much I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Paggising ko sa umaga MK, yan ang nasasabi ko kapag nakatingin ako sa wallpaper ko. Sobrang in love ko sayo, hindi ko alam kung anong meron sayo at nagkakaganto ako. Pero one thing for sure, gusto kong ipinararamdam at nararamdaman ko sayo. Walang oras na hindi kita mahal MK, walang segundo na hindi tumitibok ang puso ko para sayo. Walang segundo na hindi ka sumasagi sa isip ko. Mahal na mahal kita kase kahit na gaano ako kahirap intindihin hindi mo ako iniwan. Hindi ka nawawala sa akin, nagiging weak ka man minsan at naitutulak mo ako palayo, kayang kaya mo naman ako hilain pabalik sayo. Ewan ko ba, ang lakas ng impact mo sa akin. Hindi ko na nga madalas ma-explain sa sarili ko kung gaano kita kamahal eh. Alam mo yun.. Yung tipong bago ako maka-tulog, nilalagay ko yung phone ko sa dibdib ko habang naka-open yung picture mo. Tapos bigla kong hahalikan, kase nga in love na in love ako sayo. Yung tipong makikipagtitigan ako sa picture mo pero ako pa din ang di makakatingin ng matagal kase kinikilig ako. Yung tipong pagkagising ko, good mood ako kase picture mo yung bubungad sa akin. Yung tipong habang nagmamaneho ako susulyap ako sa wallpaper ko, tapos ngingiti ako. Yung tipong kahit pagod na pagod ako sa trabaho pero mag-scroll lang ako sa album mo sa phone ko, may energy na ulit ako. 

Ang sarap mabuhay MK, sa tagal tagal kong nabubuhay sa mundo ngayon ko lang natutunan at nasasabi na ang sarap palang mabuhay. Ang sarap gumising at magpasalamat na buhay ako. Ikaw lang, sayo ko lang naramdaman yun. Ilang tao na ang dumaan sa akin, na akala ko sila ang magiging reason ko para mabuhay pero hindi pala. Joke time pala yung naramdaman ko sa kanila. Nung dumating ka MK, nakita ko yung liwanag na ang tagal tagal ko ng kine-crave makita. Naramdaman ko yung importansya ko, yung totoong importansya na noon ko pa gustong maramdaman. Yung comfort na kelangan ko noon pa man. Sayo lang MK, sayo ko lang naramdaman yun. Ang saya saya ko, pati ng puso ko, pati yung dead soul ko binuhay mo. At ang pinakaimportanteng bagay na naparamdam mo sa akin ay yung mahalin ko yung sarili ko lalo, pero at the same time, ibibigay ko sayo lahat ng pagmamahal na kaya ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagagawa yun pero I'm happy sa kung anong ginagawa ko.

Mahal na mahal kita Maleen, ikaw na yung lahat ko eh. Ikaw na yung mundo ko, umiikot sa akin. And you revolving around me is one of the best, no, greatest thing that ever happened to me. Ikaw yung universe ko MK, ikaw din yung cloud sa buhay ko, kahit na makulimlim napapasaya mo pa din ako. YOU. MK. EXISTING. is my happiness, YOU BEING THE PERSON I WANT TO MARRY MK, MAKES ME SO HAPPY. You're in my hand, heart, body & soul baby. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa akin kapag nawala ka, kapag hindi ikaw ang nakasama ko sa pagtanda ko. I'll do everything for you babe, everything babe. I'd die for you MK, I will shield myself to any bullet that will hit you. Yes MK, that's how much I love you. 

Feeling ko hindi pa yan lahat eh, kase kulang talaga yung forever babe para masabi ko sayo kung bakit kita mahal. Basta babe magstay ka lang sa akin, pwede ba? Ayoko na sa iba. Ayoko ng mapunta ka sa iba. Ayokong ng may iba kang makasama simula ngayon, ako lang. Ako lang hanggang pagtanda mo.

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA MK, SA HIRAP O GINHAWA. 

PS.

Random cheesy night lang to for you baby, I know you are stressed and tired from school quizzes and such. I just wanna make your night right. I love you MK. I love you so much. 

Well my love this is me after writing this blog, red, teary eyed, and still in love with you! I love you so much. 😘